Regression

Just when I thought I've got the blogging business all figured it out, turns out I was somewhat wrong... err... again.

Regression has hit me this time round, not possible you say? Usually I hesitate to take a stroll back memory lane and browse through all of my past posts. And you know what? Each and every single blog post back then is 10 or 20 times better than the ones that I'm typing now.

Thinking about it, back then what I had was passion and just one heck of an urge to express it out. I could've definitely produced more blog posts when I had the urge but apathy and laziness struck again. And this time I've lapsed back worse into what I am now before all of this blogging started. "Emotionally void" is indeed true.

Now my mind is just one messy pile of thoughts with no way of straighting it out, and straightening just usually leads to "political correctness", and that's just plain stiff to begin with. I've always thought I was looking forward to progression and self-improvement, but in reality what I didn't manage to handle or cover properly lead me to regression instead.

Eh, I've always thought sometimes short blog posts would be good, you know, short so that you wouldn't have to waste your time looking through all of it. But what I've found out is that it basically means yeilding yourself to commercialism, making yourself to be even more materialistic in the attempt to get more readers to stop by and boosting traffic in the end. This just feels plain wrong. Quality and quantity (interlinked) shouldn't ever be sacrificed for any good reason. What I've previously thought to be correct turns out to be utterly wrong, irony at it's finest. I'm scrapping all preconceptions and misconceptions from now on.

Commercialism? It isn't really supposed to be a good thing. It just hit me that the idea that some websites, blogs and various other stuff that reek of commercialism in essence really do turn me off, and what I'd done subconciously or not, was unacceptable.


This part of this blog post is dedicated to Jin, who I am now keeping my promise to deliver you this piece of information to complete the puzzle. =)

I've been keeping part of my internet life under wraps, and part of that internet life would be hanging around Wikipedia. It's an obsession that I know, but it wasn't until an encounter with another Wikipedian that made me thinking about ejecting myself from the encyclopedia.

You see, even though with its semi-fool-proof policies, as in having a neutral point-of-view, treating other members of Wikipedia with respect and accepting their edits as in good faith, sadly during an immersed discussion these policies would buckle at times under provocation, disagreements and arguements. Yeah, you have those policy so that you can keep a reign on the members, but you certainly can't expect to control their attitude or point-of-view, can't you?

First of all, there is the ego factor. During disagreements basically it means that one party would not admit his or her mistake due to the person's inflated ego. "You're always wrong, I'm always right and I can back up that statement!!!" If it's black and white cases the admins could certainly know whose the offender and deal the appropriate measures or punishment to the offender. Though if the person is a slippery eel or perhaps an admin him/herself, it's getting away scot-free, baby.

Next is the personal attitude of other Wikipedians. Now I've met other nice and welcoming members of the encyclopedia and they've certainly opened up their arms and forgiveness, but sadly people can change over time, and so my perception of them has also changed. I've had disputes before during those course of disputes, I was involved due being blinded by pettyness, and not seeing the tree instead of the forest. If you know me, any problems that I encounter usually can be fixed (because of its simpleness), but the problems that I can't fix are the problems that even the technical experts would have a tough time solving. An example being my computer (rewind back to November and December 2004 archives please).

Anyways, pettyness led me to two seperate disputes on the renouned encyclopedia. Both involving a single word, can you even believe it??? Neither do I actually, in most cases I would most likely close an eyelid and let most edits pass under my watch. But somehow I can't be sure what came over me, the most likely explanation is that I've been inciting those discussion before I had my nap – the time when I'd most likely be twitchy. I do remember myself almost dragging myself into deep shit one time because of my twitchyness, thankfully I accidentally clicked the close button and erased my whole page of accusations and evidence. Man, and I used to thought I was self-controlling but apparently I'm not, again.

Okay, latest incident was involving the dispute with a local Wikipedian. So this person made some edits which I disagreed with, and I promptly sent a message in this person's talk page. I had a nagging feeling with this one actually, and an earlier observation about another person leads me to believe that sometimes I can't get along well with some kinds of people. Probably the ones that seem to rub your fur the wrong way and vice-versa. My problem here is that my comment had an opening which the person could certainly exploit and take advantage of if he had the capability to, and he did.

Now, the course of the discussion itself was alright, but I seemed to notice that we were getting nowhere actually. This person had excuses for every single thing he edited, and evidence to back up with! It's the equilavent of killing a person in cold blood and having a good excuse to to back it up! What I think is that a humbler person would say "I might be wrong, but..." but a person with tons of excuses would say "I might be right". And to talk about going nowhere, the important issues that needed to be ironed out was not settled at all. Seems that this person was more intent on having a debate about the person rather than the person's edits.

That didn't go down well with me, and on seeing the turmulous episodes and adventures that some have went through on the encyclopedia that might even bent or drive a person stark raving mad, I'm now making my decision to leave Wikipedia for the time being. I'm by definition on a "Wikiholiday" as mentioned in my user page, but I might or might not be returning to the encyclopedia to help out anymore. I'm far more statisfied starting and editing articles with me as the main editor as opposed to seeing the pain and suffering that one has to go through during harsh edit conflicts and debates that surround the article.

I've felt humiliated, though I didn't mention this to anyone at all. There isn't really a need to do so. I mean, there were some good times that I had while going through Wikipedia, but I never reached the levels that those considered to be excellent, and in short the bad times didn't really eclipsed the good times, but it sure left a bad feeling inside my mouth for a long time.

You know, I even think that quitting the encyclopedia would do me good. I guess I could've been constricted by the policy of Wikipedia in using the neutral point-of-view policy that led to the "voidness" you've seen around recently in this blog. There's no smoke without fire. Yes, it's all related in one way or another. I'm not confirming myself to their policy anymore (except while editing on their site), and though I keep seeing Wikipedia's growth and expantion of publicity of the encyclopedia on news articles, I hope that every person new to the idea of the encyclopedia to not to be turned off by this blog post. Through some policy updating, streamlining and some attitude adjustment of some members, the concept of an open-encyclopedia is definitely a feasible idea but apparently I've lost the fizzle to keep myself going on it anymore.

Gah, it's now 2:55 in the morning and my fingers are starting to ache now from all of that typing. Will be going to bed now, somewhat satisfied from this immensely long blog post that's been keeping up inside me for a long time, sigh... Goodnight.



[Edit]: I noticed there's many typos in this post, I can't get the spell checker to work correctly, and I don't think I'd like to be an ultra-perfectionist, so I'm closing an eye and letting this one slide through again.

^__^

I'm feeling glad... though not really happy... because of something...

But I'm not planning on revealing it...


Normal updates will resume as normal tomorrow. :)

The Passing of Malaysia's First Lady

Deepest condolences to Prime Minister Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi and the closest relatives of his wife, Datin Seri Endon Mahmood. May she rest in peace.

Links:
Jeff Ooi
The Star

2005 Yearbook and Graduation Rehearsal

:P

I've my name or pic in at least 4 sections of the 2005 yearbook, class photo, class of 2005 summary, graduation section and lastly the advetorial section (it costed RM60 for a quarter-page ad) which contained my regards to erm... everybody?

Am still mulling about my sleepy-eyed look in the photos. I know that I'm sleepy most of the time, but why the heck do I look sleepy even though I'm awake??? Anyways, I still think I look weird with glasses, but I look even weider without glasses. At least, at least I got myself in the class photo, thank heavens for that.

Is anyone interested if I scan and put a few pages from the yearbook up on this blog?


Rehearsal for this year's graduation ceremony went underway this morning. I can't tell you how sleepy and exhausted I was from getting less than 4 hours sleep the night before. (Irony alert: I'm typing this at over 1 in the morning) Gotta sleep now, I'll continue tomorrow morning. =___=

Glasses!

I was supposed to collect my glasses from the optometrist last Saturday but I went there on Monday instead. The lack of transportation really bungles everything up sometimes. Anyways, I've now a pair of new frameless and lightweight glasses! :D This new pair made my old ones look like gigantic boulders, as normal metal it rusted a little over time.

As expected, vision in my left eye was even more blurry than ever (think it was because of the weird angle that I used to sit at while on my computer) and so the lens were much thicker than the right lens. Though everything seems much much clearer, I need to get adjusted to the change, it's... different now. The only thing that makes me concern right now is that the whole thing seems to fragile and so darn easy to break apart if you try to take it off too quickly.

Lastly, the guy at the optometrists bugs me a little. Sometimes I get a little disturbed at some of the people that I see around me. He reminds me a bit of the unresponsive lady at the stall during the time I was going vegetarian a month ago. When I told her what I wanted to order, I wasn't really sure if she heard me at all. Just... no response, and that seriously irks me. In the end, I got what I ordered for, but apparently she didn't fully listen and I got one packet wrongly. I'd expected it anyways.

Back to the optometrist, I suppose he could be considered as alright, considering my last optometrist literally was sweating heavily (nervous, him?) during the last consultation 3 years ago. My mom accompanied with me back then, it's normal for people to get nervous at the sight of her anyways. :P

RM270, man they're making big bucks from this I think. The more people start to fumble up their vision, the more money these guys earn. Anyways, I sure as heck hope it's worth every single penny. First it was lightweight headphones, now it's lightweight spectacles, seems to me that perception enchancement is really getting to me now.

Am not rambling any further more. I'll just keep this entry short and sweet. :)

Music/School/Glasses/Wikipedia

They usually say that chillout music is perfect to listen after a whole night of thumping and loud music.

But what do you turn to if you get too much chillout?

The answer is switching back to radio to good 'ol vocals.


Amidst the most of the ear-jamming songs and sounds that I've heard recently, I think I'm embracing the Bee Gees again.

I had a four-album marathon with Kraftwerk from 11pm till 4am last night, now I'm rediscovering Their Greatest Hits: The Record. Old can sometimes be gold. :)

*****

SPM exams is in less than a month, quick dammit, I have to PANIC!!! Or else I won't be able to get everything else done that way. :
Friday seems to be a public holiday, that means there's only four schooling days left for me. Graduation day is on Saturday.

*****

I went to the optometrist on Wednesday, took an eye test and apparently my left eye seems to have worsen a bit since my last exam.

Picked a new pair of frameless glasses with rectangle lenses, supposed to take them today but I haven't went to the shop yet.

Y'know, even with the eye tests and everything, I still have a bit of concern about whether I fumbled the eye test and am gonna screw up the end result of my prescription glasses. :|

*****

You know you've been in Wikipedia too much when you attempt to make text appear with italics by typing like ''this''.

Cover and Release Date of Enigma's New Single, "Hello and Welcome"!

I think everyone whose been an Enigma fan (a.k.a. Enigmatics, or Enigmaniacs :P) has been waiting for this news with bated breath. The latest news from EnigmaMusic.com is that the single's cover has now been made public!

Ladies and gentleman, this is the single cover of "Hello and Welcome", by Enigma!



I'm slightly thankful that the cover uses the E4-style font, and am presuming that it'll share less resemblance to the E5 album. About the boxing glove on the cover, the song is also supposed to be the walk-in music for the boxer, Felix Sturm. Mr. Cretu seems to be changing his taste in sports from football to boxing. :)

Anyways, the single's release date in Germany is on November 25th, and everyone is now waiting eagerly for a sample of the song. Here's to hoping that the E6 album, which is scheduled to be released in late 2006, would be a massive success for Enigma!

Meanwhile, the Enigma collector's box set which has 8 CDs is priced at €128.99 from Amazon Germany, which when converted to Malaysian ringgit, would be equilavent to RM581.25! Egad, that's more than enough to pay a month's house rent. I'll just be contented with admiring this box set in the music store. :|

[Edit]: The Enigma article on Wikipedia is slowly building up over the past year and that's a good thing, though much much much effort is still needed to be able to edit it to perfection.

Review: Philips HL140 Headphones

My three-year old speakers have been acting weird recently, and sometimes I wondered if some of the songs I've been listening would've made the eyebrows of my parents rise a little. o_O

So, I bought this pair of Philips headphones last Saturday at Popular Book Store. Now I know it isn't as fancy or famous as Sennheiser or Sony but eh, the sound quality is alright for me and it gets the job done. So, not much complaints from me.

The only thing I regret now is not choosing one with a longer cable, this pair only has 1 metre of cable and apparently the front headphone jack on my computer isn't working, so I shoved the whole computer out a bit to get to the jack on the back.

As you can see, it supposed to be lightweight and the headband is made out of metal. Just hoping my brain wouldn't become an antenna or something. ;) The whole headphone is light and comfortable enough once you wear it the right way.

Apparently also I noticed that some albums seems to be made to be listened through headphones, while some shouldn't even come near each other! Songs in Enigma's Voyageur album seem to be somewhat "disjointed" through headphones. Anyways, Kraftwerk and Mike Oldfield never sounded better compared to a crummy pair of speakers. :)

Overall at just RM21.99, it should be better than those tinny little earphones, just remember to note the little "L" and "R" on both sides of the headphones. :P

[Edit]: Check this site for more detailed info.

Desktop Screenshot...

Just showing off my Tubular Bells III wallpaper and desktop. :)

Two Weeks...

To think about it, in two weeks time, I would've considered to have been graduated from secondary (or high) school! Graduation ceremony is scheduled to be on October 22nd, and...

Two weeks after that, I'm taking my SPM examinations!

I've managed to not flunk any single subject for last month's trials, but I can't say that the numbers in the report book are good enough to shout out to. It's a small consolation, sadly. So, during this one month before the exam begins, I will resolve to dedicate as much of my effort as possible into ensuring I don't manage to screw it up horribly (very possible).

So, that also means I'll be less obsessive online nowadays. Though I probably might continue blogging here, no real reason why blogging shouldn't be a hurdle right? Most probably I'll be cutting down on the reading/commenting on others' blogs (that also means things will go on as usual) until after the end of the big one.

But then, what comes next after the SPMs? STPM or collage? Looking at myself here, I don't think I'm in a position to decide my own fate yet. Most likely I'll decide later after the results.

RM2,211.68 Telekom Bill???

RM117.00 for rental (seems that I subscribed for the same telephone line and number AGAIN)
RM14.36 for calls (eh, that's alright)
RM101.60 for taxes???

... and the whopper is...
RM1,900.80 for the Streamyx broadband bill!

O_O

What the...

The itemised statement said that the Streamyx bill was left unpaid from DECEMBER 2003 until this month! Leave a bill unpaid for 3 months and connection will promptly be snipped off... Almost unpaid for 2 years? Yeah, right...


A month ago I received a phone call from Telekom, saying that there was a mistake in the bill, and told me to ignore it... Now I also received another bill for RM660 because the earlier mistake WASN'T CORRECTED and it continued to be added every month...


I sense a tiny little tinge of incompetentcy here...